Eye Thought Eye Saw...

It has been a while since I've written here, and no I am not dead (boohoo); I just arrived in Singapore a few days ago and have been unpacking. I hereby thank the PAP for not engaging in anal Internet Censorship similar to that endorsed by our dear Commie friends back in PRC (bunch of anal bastards I say). Without further ado, I present the lastest installment of my 2 penny's worth on all that is plastic.

Our eyes are called the gateway to the soul. A person's eyes can often betray his (assuming our person has a Y chromosome) inner thoughts and character, piercing straight to the soul. Great actors can 'talk' with their eyes: a flicker of the eye is able to convey disgust, anger, pleasure, sorrow etc. When two sets of eyes meet, a wordless form of communication is achieved (in Memoirs of a Geisha, it's a great Geisha is able to stop anyone in his tracks with a mere look). That is the power of the eyes.

With such expressiveness and importance placed on the eyes, man would naturally define what 'beautiful' eyes are. I can safely say that a 'beautiful' eye consists of the following:

• large and wide eyes
  
• thick, long eye lashes (curtains to the windows; find an Indian friend)
  
• double eyelids (somewhat less common in Asians than Caucasians)
  
• lack of eye bags
  
• coloured iris (non-black/dark brown eyes) <-- this one is debatable since the grass is always greener on the other side.
  Now that we have established what a 'beautiful' eye consists of, we can get down to the dirty business of analysing.

  Before:
  
  After:
  
  Starting with the easy ones.
  
  1. Coloured Iris
  By the year 2006 everyone who hasn't been living in a well for the last twenty years should have heard about Contact Lenses. Now after all these years of development to bring us breathable lenses, hard/soft lenses, daily lenses etc; fashion finally caught up: Leethax & Co. proudly presents Coloured Contacts!!
  
  Injectable-inks (damn the Nazi's were brilliant) are a thing of the past. Get one of these babies and slap it onto your eyeballs for instant racial transformation (now you can say you have Scandanavian ancestory too!). The lastest contacts come from Nike: the MAXSIGHT Sport-Tinted Contact Lenses are contacts and sunnies at the same time.
  
  

  2. Full Lashes
  The secret has been out eons ago. Modern cosmetics are able to length and thicken lashes at the same time. No more fake lashes, pay Takashimaya ground floor a visit and you can achieve up to 20% longer and fuller lashes.
  
  

  3. Eye Bags
  Lots sleep, no crying and not drinking excessive water before sleep helps (one of them might be a myth).
  
  

  4. Double Eyelids
  No need explaining here. She woke up one day and found another set of eyelids. Yes that's right! /end sarcasm. Simple surgery always does the trick. I'll explain the procedure (Blepharoplasty) at a later date.
  And now for the trickiest bit of the lot.
  
  

  5. Larger Eyes
  Many readers have questioned the size of her eyes. Not surprisingly, the majority was if and how her eyes got larger. That is two questions right there.
  1. Whether her eyes indeed got larger
  2. How did she do that?
  
  

  Observe the next few pictures (a to d from left to right)
  
  a & b are pre-alleged operation pictures; c & d are post-op shots
  

  Over picture b, I have included an outline of her iris (the round coloured membrane surrounding the pupil). As you might have gathered from reading my previous articles, some parts of the human body don't change much; well the iris is one of them. The size and colour of the iris remains with you for life.
  
  Picture b shows about a 20-25% overlap of the iris by the upper eyelids. Upon examining c & d, where most of the iris is visible, we notice that the size of the eyes have indeed changed. Although some might consider this to be overwhelming evidence that her eyes have enlarged, I would still like to comment that the verdict is not absolute. Since we only have one picture of appreciable resolution of her former days, we are unable to confirm our proposition statistically (many other factors could make one's eyes look larger, for instance, opening the eyes larger).
  

  Okay, here's the real kicker: Blepharoplasty can make eyes look larger.
  
  

  Stay tuned folks!