Monday, September 04, 2006

CommSec projects increase in egg sale for third quarter 2006

P.S. CommSec is the stock market/investment branch of Commonwealth Bank of Australia.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Eye Thought Eye Saw...

It has been a while since I've written here, and no I am not dead (boohoo); I just arrived in Singapore a few days ago and have been unpacking. I hereby thank the PAP for not engaging in anal Internet Censorship similar to that endorsed by our dear Commie friends back in PRC (bunch of anal bastards I say). Without further ado, I present the lastest installment of my 2 penny's worth on all that is plastic.

Our eyes are called the gateway to the soul. A person's eyes can often betray his (assuming our person has a Y chromosome) inner thoughts and character, piercing straight to the soul. Great actors can 'talk' with their eyes: a flicker of the eye is able to convey disgust, anger, pleasure, sorrow etc. When two sets of eyes meet, a wordless form of communication is achieved (in Memoirs of a Geisha, it's a great Geisha is able to stop anyone in his tracks with a mere look). That is the power of the eyes.

With such expressiveness and importance placed on the eyes, man would naturally define what 'beautiful' eyes are. I can safely say that a 'beautiful' eye consists of the following:
  • large and wide eyes
  • thick, long eye lashes (curtains to the windows; find an Indian friend)
  • double eyelids (somewhat less common in Asians than Caucasians)
  • lack of eye bags
  • coloured iris (non-black/dark brown eyes) <-- this one is debatable since the grass is always greener on the other side.
    Now that we have established what a 'beautiful' eye consists of, we can get down to the dirty business of analysing.



    Starting with the easy ones.

    1. Coloured Iris
    By the year 2006 everyone who hasn't been living in a well for the last twenty years should have heard about Contact Lenses. Now after all these years of development to bring us breathable lenses, hard/soft lenses, daily lenses etc; fashion finally caught up: Leethax & Co. proudly presents Coloured Contacts!!

    Injectable-inks (damn the Nazi's were brilliant) are a thing of the past. Get one of these babies and slap it onto your eyeballs for instant racial transformation (now you can say you have Scandanavian ancestory too!). The lastest contacts come from Nike: the MAXSIGHT Sport-Tinted Contact Lenses are contacts and sunnies at the same time.

    2. Full Lashes
    The secret has been out eons ago. Modern cosmetics are able to length and thicken lashes at the same time. No more fake lashes, pay Takashimaya ground floor a visit and you can achieve up to 20% longer and fuller lashes.

    3. Eye Bags
    Lots sleep, no crying and not drinking excessive water before sleep helps (one of them might be a myth).

    4. Double Eyelids
    No need explaining here. She woke up one day and found another set of eyelids. Yes that's right! /end sarcasm. Simple surgery always does the trick. I'll explain the procedure (Blepharoplasty) at a later date.
    And now for the trickiest bit of the lot.

    5. Larger Eyes
    Many readers have questioned the size of her eyes. Not surprisingly, the majority was if and how her eyes got larger. That is two questions right there.
    1. Whether her eyes indeed got larger
    2. How did she do that?

    Observe the next few pictures (a to d from left to right)

    a & b are pre-alleged operation pictures; c & d are post-op shots

    Over picture b, I have included an outline of her iris (the round coloured membrane surrounding the pupil). As you might have gathered from reading my previous articles, some parts of the human body don't change much; well the iris is one of them. The size and colour of the iris remains with you for life.

    Picture b shows about a 20-25% overlap of the iris by the upper eyelids. Upon examining c & d, where most of the iris is visible, we notice that the size of the eyes have indeed changed. Although some might consider this to be overwhelming evidence that her eyes have enlarged, I would still like to comment that the verdict is not absolute. Since we only have one picture of appreciable resolution of her former days, we are unable to confirm our proposition statistically (many other factors could make one's eyes look larger, for instance, opening the eyes larger).

    Okay, here's the real kicker: Blepharoplasty can make eyes look larger.

    Stay tuned folks!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A Short Note

I'm in China at the moment and it seems that the IP address has been blocked by the government. seems to work fine but I can't view any comments etc.
WTB: None password protected proxy server.

Monday, December 05, 2005


Before we get down to the structure of the eyes, I would like to mention that double eyelids are a predominantly Caucasian phenotype. Most Caucasians I've seen on my trip to Queensland (a very enjoyable trip from Gold Coast up to the Whitsundays) had double eyelids. However only about 50% of Asians have double eyelids.
NB: I wish to address that the connotation of single eyelids is a misnomer: everyone has double eyelids, except in some cases, the crease, or fold, is so low (and close) to the lash line that it's not noticably visible.

In my sourcing for the article, I've found a very good site that explains the anatomy of the Asian eyelid, but I will attempt to summarize the gist of it here.
The important components of the eyelids for the sake of this discussion are
1) Levator Aponeurosis
2) Tarsal Plate
3) Skin of the Eyelid &
4) Fat, fat and more fat.

Levator Aponeurosis: A muscles that lifts the eyelids. Its different site of attachment in the Asian eyelid is what causes the single eyelid.
Tarsal Plate: It's just below your eyelash line and it gives some rigidity and structure to the lash line (you can pinch your lashes to feel it).
Skin: What makes up the external surface of the eyelid, it forms the creases and folds when we open our eyes.
Fat: Strategic locationing (and surpluses) of fat gives the "bulgy" Asian eye appearance (especially pronounced in the lower eyelid, a.k.a. eyebags), making us look wary and tired all the time. Caucasians (most) have relatively thinner eyelids.

In a nutshell, some Asians (me included) don't get double eyelids cause a muscle attaches to a different spot (see that red arrow?). It's as simple as that.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Lip Tricks

Dawn Yang haters won't like this post.

Another feature of Dawn Yang that has came into question is her lips; sweet luscious fruits of kissing joy, are they for real? Before reading this article, one should probably read Lip Service (Part 1) and (Part 2)

For the sake of this article, I have found a pair of matching pictures with relatively similar poses and camera angles:
The pictures used
The first thing that anyone would notice is the shape and size of her eyes are rather dissimilar, but her eyes are not the topic of discussion for this article. They will be looked at on a future date.

Zooming up on her lips, we get:
The Lips
Firstly, in my Lip Service articles, I talked about Lip Reduction and Augmentation. From the thickness of the vermillion in either pictures, I became pretty convinced that her inferior (lower) lips are more or less the same. They have the same thickness and the same shape. With that said, I am unable to find any evidence supporting claims that she had altered her lips to make them look fuller or thinner.

However, when we take a closer look at her superior (upper) lip, we will be able to notice that the shape of the Cupid's Bow (that's why Cupid was going "Where's my bow?" if you didn't get the joke in the last article) is different. The vermillion of the superior lip (on the left picture) is flatter and does not possess the same concaving indenture visible in the second (right) picture. If you do not know what I am talking about, place your mouse over the image and an outline of the border of the vermillion and the skin on the superior lip will be visible. Clearly something was done to erase the little depression on that lip.

"So she did something to her lips! Stone her!!" you might say. But I need to urge readers that this conclusion is based on only one set of pictures. This is, sadly, due to the lack of high-resolution pictures of pre-operative Dawn (however we have many, many pictures of post-operative Dawn, see the collage in Dude, Where's My Bow? [the Cupid's Bow is not evident in any of them]) <-- nested comments ftw.

In a nutshell, I am unable to draw a definitive conclusion to the problem at hand. All I can say is that I am about 75% confident that she did have surgical intervention on her kissers to remove that little bow on her upper lip. On the other hand, rumours of her pumping up or shaving off her lips are quite unfound.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Dude! Where's My Bow?!?!

This is just a teaser and some major flame-bait:
"Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter, that's right the points are like whether Dawn Yang lied."
In the spirit of investigation, 1000 points for anyone who can prove I am the alleged Biren. 1000 points for the first to tell me who that bloke in the middle of the picture is!

Cupid lost his bow!!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

genetic gifts

these days, successful people usually have one of the following: a genetic gift of intelligence or a genetic gift of beauty.

Albert Einsteinalbert einstein has the former and angelina jolie [1] has the latter and they can be said to form the two extreme cases. einstein is known for his theory of relativity and jolie for her bee stung lips and curvaceous body. both of them are considered successful people in their respective ways. now we look at dawn. som argue that she is blessed with neither gift. to succeed using her brains would take years of hard work and honestly it would not be very fun. secondly, she is born possessing average beauty. but thanks to advances in modern medicine and surgury, plastic surgery has becoming an increasingly viable option to enhance ones looks. just a few cuts here and there and voila instant beauty!

people, ceteris paribus, will always choose the path that gives them the maximum benefits for the least amount of work. it is in our blood. in this case, dawn simply just cheated and is to be pitied and sympathised with. someone once said that contentment leads to happiness - woe to the unsatisfied. someone who has undergone drastic surgery is obviously not content with herself - her looks and other aspects of her life.

the problem with using surgury to alleviate ones discontentment with oneself leads to one major problem. she cheated by taking the easy way out. now every time she faces another similar problem, for instance, not liking her eyes, she will use the same easy way out again. never learning and forever trapped in a n endless cycle. this is why a person who has had plastic surgery is predisposed to going under the knife for the second, third, fourth time, until so much alteration has taken place that one can no longer recognise oneself.

i advise people who want to get aesthetic, that is to say you do not have some horrible disfigurement that prevents you from functioning as a member of society, plastic surgury to reflect within themselves before going under the knife. remember you are what you feel about yourself.

as for why people are so annoyed with her. in my humble opinion, i figured it is due to how proud she is of her looks. it is comparable to someone who has cheated for an exam to receive a A+ and haughtily boasting about her smart she is. this is different from jealousy but more of a scornful and contemptuous regard for another person whom you deem unworthy or despicable.

the moral of the day is:
words do not change what you are, only what you believe you are.

[1] 'sexiest woman in the world' search produces angelina jolie's name on google.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Lip Service (Part 2)

Due to popular demand, objective omfgima1337hax has been reinstated. And regarding this Biren business, I am not Biren nor do I know who the hell this Biren person is. If only someone could be so nice as to provide more information on this mysterious name; much thanks in advance.

Without further ado, today we talk about the second type of procedure done on the lips (continuation of Lip Service Part 1).

2. Lip Augmentation
Instead of thinning the lips, lip augmentation allows the thickening or modeling of the lips as a patient sees fit. You can puff up your lips (if it floats your boat) or make certain bits of it fuller or rounder etc. This can be done by implanting either fat grafts (usually from the periumbilical region, peri- = around, umbilical = belly button) or a synthetic AlloDerm implant.

Sometimes, this involves the Cupid's bow of the upper lip, the vermillion (the reddish part of your lips) and the skin (see picture). Example of someone (Rick Springfield) obliterating his Cupid's bow, showing the pre-op lips (right) and the end result (left). The difference is very subtle but it's there nevertheless. A minute amount of fat or AlloDerm can be injected under the Cupid's bow to raise the level of the vermillion to fill up the depression. Alternatively, two incisions can be made to trim off the two peaks of the upper lip (this however tends to leave larger scars).

Sexy Lips and Cupid's Bow

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

MTG Explains Dawn's Latest Post

Magic the Gathering card: Divine RetributionTuesday, November 15, 2005
11:49 A.M.

It's been a really trying time being in the limelight... In Dawn's latest article, she starts talking about her side of the story. Interesting and full of niceness as usual, while talking about "what goes around comes around". And quoting lines from the bible "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" (I am not an expert on bible studies but I think we all know what she is trying to imply here). Continuing by saying "I do not think I am a particularly bad person who has bitched about or intentionally hurt anyone or done anything remotely wicked/unlawful.... :(((".

Gssq: Those pictures you got must be FRAUDS!! HOW COULD YOU LIE!?!? OH MY GOSH*

Magic the Gathering card: VictimizeAlso I love the way she goes about trying to play the "victimised" card, saying how "how cruel and vicious some anonymous internet people can be". Ditto right back at her.
It seems that she is trying to take the moral high ground and the likes of gssq and xialanxue have lost by default due to their cruel intent (I do not rank myself amongst them yet for I am neither cruel nor vicious: just point out the truth :D) Seems she has learned a thing or two from her manager about fan management and rumour suppression during that one week absence. Maybe troll can give some of her insights soon?

IMO, its laden with hypocrisy but nevertheless an interesting read. She does not flatly deny the accusations of surgery and also does not addressing any of the issues (Thai/Dutch heritage, USC, Surgery etc) brought up by various inquests.

     She's still in DENIAL folks!!

Magic the Gathering card: Fervent DenialFramed!
<----Framed ?
You decide.

Lip Service (Part 1)

Two major types of aesthetic lip surgery frequently done are:
  1. Lip Reduction
  2. Lip Augmentation

1. Lip Reduction
Prominent lips are features commonly associated with non-Caucasians such as Africans, Asians etc. More often than not, these patients seek to reduce the size of their lips to obtain a balance with respect to their faces. Some might consider bee-stung lips (like that of Shu Qi and Angelina Jolie) are sexy, but in other situations, oversized lips are considered unaesthetic. Again there are multiple ways of doing this depending on the desired results and the problem.

Horizontal Incision (Left): A strip is removed from the offending lip interiorly. The gap is sewn together with fine absorbable sutures.
Vertical Incision (Right): Cut along purple line. Sew it back together. Simple.
Horizontal Incision Vertical Incision

Coming up: Lip Service (Part 2)